How to Talk to Your Partner About Snoring

By February 16, 2017Living With Sleep Apnea
how to talk to partner about snoring

Does your partner snore? Does their snoring wake you up at night? Do you feel tired during the day? Have you been wondering how to talk to your partner about snoring?

The best time to approach your partner about their snoring is now. The problem isn’t going to go away or fix itself and every night your partner’s snoring wakes you up, it’s damaging your health and throwing a wrench into your quality of life.

The sooner the problem is resolved, the sooner you can start living better.

But, before you get started, here are four quick tips on how to talk to your partner about snoring:

1. Be Calm and Understanding

You partner isn’t snoring on purpose.

You, of course, you already know this, but it can be hard to remember when you’re tired and frustrated.

Snoring can interfere with your quality of life in a very real way and this can cause your nerves to get a little frayed. That’s natural.

In many cases, their sleep isn’t high-quality, either, leaving them sleep-deprived and irritable. When neither of you is at your best, it can be difficult to have a constructive conversation – especially about a sensitive matter.

So, before you start any conversation about snoring, try to get to a place where you feel completely calm.

Keep in mind that your partner:

  • Isn’t snoring on purpose.
  • May not be aware of the impact their snoring is having on your life.
  • May be embarrassed about their snoring.

Reminding yourself of all these before you start the conversation can help you focus on the real reason for bringing up the issue in the first place: the need for some resolution.

2. Present a Solution

If you bring up something that can seem negative, the first impulse is for it to be taken as a complaint.

To avoid this, try to focus on the solution. This takes the weight of the conversation off their snoring and focuses on something positive – how to fix it so you can both get better sleep.

Before you start the conversation, try to have a list of solutions ready. When you’re outlining these solutions, make a note of each of the following:

  • What are the benefits?
  • What are some of the drawbacks?
  • Is there anything you can do to make the drawbacks easier to deal with?
  • What’s most important to your partner?
  • What steps are needed?

The more clarity each solution offers, the easier it is for you and your partner to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Again, this keeps the focus on how to make things better, rather than going on the attack.

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3. Remind Your Partner Why This is Important

This is more than a matter of preferences or minor complaints. Snoring can impair your quality of life and your partner’s quality of life.

Sleep deprivation can pose serious consequences to your health. From heart attack to stroke, years of poor-quality sleep could be damaging your health. The sooner you take action, the sooner you can live a healthier life.

That’s true for both you and your partner.

That’s not to mention all the smaller, day-to-day problems with interrupted sleep:

  • Irritability
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Lack of focus
  • Interpersonal problems at home and at work

All of these things deserve resolving.

4. Be Ready for Compromise

We talked about this earlier, but we’ll bring it up again. Snoring can be an embarrassing subject for many people. Be prepared for some resistance and be patient. You may find that focusing on one step at a time is more effective for your situation, rather than overwhelming your partner with the whole process.

You may also need to compromise on the type of treatment for snoring, depending on the underlying causes and your partner’s preferences.

There are many types of snoring treatments out there. The best treatment is the one that works for the individual in question. You may find that figuring out what works for your partner is a process of trial and error.

Ultimately, they need to make the choice of how to go about treatment.

You may experience better success when you work with them to understand the root cause of their snoring and how to resolve it. Try to avoid pushing one answer over another on them as much as possible.

In the meantime, here are a few resources that can empower you and your partner to make the best decisions for your needs and desires:

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